There are a lot of attractive men in their 50s who are leading healthy and active lifestyles. And, you are about to be 40, so 50 isn’t that old. According to men’s magazines these guys can date women in their early 30s without appearing creepy, so I should feel honored that they are settling for someone my age.

Completely on brand, I have never once fantasized about getting engaged in Paris, or honeymooning in Paris, but I have a detailed fantasy about eating and drinking alone in Paris

This post is from a fantasy collection of essays I will publish when both my parents have passed away tentatively titled “The Almost Completely True Story of Taking My Father to the Airport for His One-Way Trip to Alaska Where He Was Eaten by A Polar Bear (I assume).”