Tatiana Talks

A Very Productive Trip To Borders

So I have officially run through the relationship books my mother has purchased for me. Well, maybe not really. I thought there was one more, written ages ago by three successful men giving it to women straight about what they want in a mate, but I can’t find it. I swear I lent it to Lana, but she says she doesn’t have it.

Worse, from what I remember of the book (yes, it was another one that Bridie and I may have paged through while drinking wine at the old apartment) is was really good. Of course by really good I mean it was three self-important men telling me I am not good enough to even look at them but maybe, maybe, if I read this book, take their advice and am lucky, one day I will be worthy of them.

However, I didn’t want to leave you readers without something to laugh about, so I ventured down to the Borders on Broad Street to see what their Sex and Relationships section had for me.

When I walked in, a man standing at the door handing me a sheet of coupons. I crossed my fingers that there would be one for self-help books, but sadly there wasn’t. There was a $2 off coupon for all fiction, and so I started there. I can always use another fiction book.

After cruising through the many literature aisles, I finally settled on Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Love in the Time of Cholera (I have been meaning to read it for some time). I then made the long escalator trek up to the third floor.

The Sex and Relationship section is in the way back and while it says it is organized by author, I got the impression that it was organized by subject matter -- finding a man, keeping a man, keeping your man happy, getting over your man, having sex with your man, and at the very end a small group of books about being happy with yourself (personally I think these should be at the start of the section).

It made me smile, as I started to search the finding a man section, that there were shelves and shelves of the Steve Harvey book not being purchased.

I continued browsing, wondering if I should call my mom and ask her how one goes about buying a relationship book. None of the titles really appealed to me and all the covers looked a lot alike. Then I saw a bright pink cover that stood out from the others -- mostly because I had seen it before -- Why He Didn’t Call You Back.

I remember seeing this scut on the Today Show telling me about how she runs a matchmaking service and how she interviewed thousands of guys after first dates with her clients to research this book.

It is on, I thought, as I picked up the book and skipped back down to the first floor.

There was no line at the registers, so I walked right up to the one-third nerd that was behind the counter. He asked me if I needed any gift cards or gift receipts and I said no. He then took my books and scanned them. He looked up at me and asked again if I needed a gift receipt. This told me one of two things. Either I don’t look smart enough to read Love in the Time of Cholera or I don’t look like someone who needs Why He Didn’t Call You Back.

And while I wasn’t wearing my glasses, I was wearing a smart looking trench coat and my hair pulled back in a bun. So I am going with the latter.