Tatiana Talks

Fashion Emergency

Bridie will tell you, I am a bit of a victim when it comes to fashion. I try and try to resist the latest trends, but I almost always fail.

For instance, I promised I would never wear skinny jeans, now I own two pair and am looking for a third.

I swore up and down I would never tuck those jeans into boots, alas I have bought boots for just that reason.

At least the new tunic/long sweater craze looks good with both of the above.

This of course brought on a whole new set of problems for me last weekend.

So the skinny jeans I was wearing last weekend were on their very last day before I had to wash them (read shrink them back to being too tight). The sweater I was wearing over them required a skinny belt to give me some shape. And here is where it gets tricky. As I stood at my sink, applying my mascara, I had to keep hiking up my jeans. Normally, I would just slide on a belt to hold them up, but I was already wearing a belt -- a completely useless, just there to look good and make my waist look slimmer, skinny, shiny belt.

I cursed that I didn’t have any suspenders and debated wearing a second belt. Unfortunately all my belts had sizable buckles and I was convinced one would be able to see the bump under my sweater. Which made me worry that it was simply unacceptable to wear two belts.

I picked up my iPhone. My first inclination was to text someone to see if anyone else had run into this problem. I thought better of it as I didn’t want any of my friends making fun of me. I then looked at all my applications -- I have an application that can put together a recipe based on the ingredients in my fridge. I have an application that can tell me where the closest coffee shop is. I have an application that can transfer my contact information by bumping another iPhone. But where is the app for fashion emergencies?

This only made matters worse. Now, in addition to my sagging bottom, I was wishing I had the technological wherewithal to develop a fashion emergency app.

Just as I was contemplating changing into a skirt and tights and ankle booties, Marie texted to see what I was wearing. Marie is as much a victim as I am (the other day she was wearing harem pants) and so I felt safe confiding in her.

She responded immediately -- throw them in the dryer for ten minutes.

Man, she is so smart. I wonder if she knows how to develop an iPhone app.