Tatiana Talks

Maybe the Grass Isn’t Greener

I have always thought lesbians were the smartest women because they didn’t have to deal with man’s bullshit.

Well, I think I have changed my mind.

The other day I was walking to the Field House to meet Pepper and the Duchess for the Eagles’ game. Along the way I came up on a young woman that looked as if she was walking home from the gym. Her phone rang and she answered it. We were keeping about the same pace so I got to eavesdrop on a good bit of her conversation.

After all there are few things in this world I enjoy more than eavesdropping on strangers’ conversations.

So, from what I gathered, this woman was talking to a friend and this friend had asked her about her ex-girlfriend. Things are not so great with the ex. It seems whenever this girl starts to get serious about another, her ex miraculously shows up to mess with her head and heart. Once she just called her, out of the blue, when she was getting ready to go out on a date. Another time, she showed up at a bar, where my fellow side walker was waiting to meet someone new. She didn’t know how ex knew where to show up or if it was all just a coincidence but she really needed to do something about it because she just couldn’t handle any more of the heartache or the drama.

I shook my head as I passed the poor, young thing.

We all know how crazy girls can get. Hell, I bet we all know some just plain ol’ crazy girls. Crazy girls are attracted to me like moths to a flame, but fortunately Bridie is like a big bug zapper when it comes to crazy. Not only can she smell them as soon as she walks into a room, once she drops the therapist card, they run away faster than Victoria Secret’s models from carbs.

Still, even with Bridie at my side, I know a couple of really crazy girls. And as ridiculous and unfathomable as guys can be at times, I don’t know any that would send their guy friends over to an ex’s house to urinate and defecate on her stoop.

And for the record, that wasn’t something I overhead the lesbian complain about to her friend. That is something one of my crazy friends did when her boyfriend dumped her.