Tatiana Talks

Sweet Dreams Are Made of He

In the last month I have had three very explicit dreams about my high school crush whom I haven’t seen since our reunion three years ago.

The first two happened while I was home working on grad school applications and so I just shrugged them off as being some sort of dream memory brought on by sleeping in the same bed I did when I was in high school.

After all, I had plenty of dirty dreams about this guy in that bed. It seemed fitting that when I return to that bed, he should return as the star of those dreams.

But the most recent dream happened the other night. In my own bed in my own home in Philadelphia. A bed where I should be dreaming of Stewart Bradley or Andy Roddick (what do you want from me? I was in the middle of a tennis memoir), not my high school crush.

What makes these dreams stand out even more is that they are the only dirty dreams I have had since losing my job. All my other dreams have been anxiety induced. Like being chased around my old high school by lions or a new favorite -- discovering a hellmouth under my dresser so that every time I pass it to go to the bathroom creatures from the unknown rise up and try to pull me down with them. Worse than that, because it is directly under my dresser and blocking the entrance to my closet, I am forced to wear the same clothes until I figure out how to close the damned thing.

Now, I'm not the sort to believe there are hidden messages in our dreams. I'm from the school of thought that dreams are merely tools to protect one’s sleep. Which explains my anxiety dreams. I am worried about a number of things at the moment, but instead of keeping me up at night (okay, so sometimes it does keep me up at night), my subconscious is dealing with using lions, tigers and dismembered arms.

So, what then, is my subconscious protecting me from by sending me my high school crush to get me all hot and bothered?