Tatiana Talks

Where Did I Put that Push-Up Sports Bra?

Ladies, have you ever noticed how many catcalls you receive when you are working out? Well, I have. I will be out for a run, sweaty and gross, no make-up, hair pulled into a bushy ponytail (that gets bushier by the minute because of all the sweating I am doing) wearing running pants or shorts and a sports bra that makes me flatter than I naturally am and all these guys will be giving me double takes or slowing their cars down to smile at me.

All the attention makes me worry that there is a hole in my pants or I have sweat so much one can now see through my top because it never occurs to me that I look good -- though maybe it should.

See, Theresa and I were out enjoying a couple of adult beverages on an especially lovely afternoon recently when two girls walked in wearing running shorts, tank tops with built-in sports bras, their hair pulled back into ponytails and running shoes. Now, they were also wearing make-up and jewelry and carrying pocketbooks so it was clear to Theresa and I that they didn’t just come from a workout, but that didn’t matter to the men in the bar. These two girls in workout clothes were the female equivalent of a tall man sitting in the park reading poetry with a puppy at his feet.

Now Theresa and I aren’t ugly. Truth be told, Theresa is hot and I’m at least a six, but as we sat there not a single guy approached us. These two girls, sans their Nike shorts, were nothing special, but guys were tripping over themselves to talk to the two of them.

This got me thinking. Was this just a matter of having an opening or was there something bigger going on here? Are men wired in some weird way to pant heavily whenever they see sweat-wicking fabric in neon shades of pink? Is there some magical, hypnotic quality to the ponytail? And if this is the case, why do I spend so much time getting ready to go out and torture myself wearing uncomfortable, strappy wedges and a dress that is just a shade too tight, when I could be wearing yoga pants and sneakers?

I mean, I know Clinton and Stacy would never approve, but landing a boyfriend (or even a date) would make my mom and dad (not to mention my friends) very happy.