Tatiana Talks

Arm Warmers and Hockey Socks

I like making people laugh.

I’m also not one to back down from a dare.

And, I’m also a bit of a fashion victim.

It was because these three things combined that I almost found myself standing face-to-face with Houdini in hockey socks and a mini-dress.

Let me explain.

Have you seen the arm warmers that have become all the rage? I’m sure you have and I’m sure you have strong feelings one way or the other about them. Personally, I love them. They are great to wear outside, leaving your fingers free to text, and they are equally as great to wear in the office where the collars on my mod dresses make sweaters impractical but the temperature leaves my bare arms with goose bumps – the men in the office control the thermostat and they insist that it is always too warm. Regardless, the arm warmers rock because they keep me warm and allow me to type.

Of course, there is one downside to the arm warmers and that is they leave my upper arm bare. A fact pointed out to me by a co-worker that we will call Mack. Mack teased me about this (along with others), at one point suggesting he would bring in hockey socks for me to wear.
I never actually expected him to bring in hockey socks for me to wear.

For those of you who haven’t the pleasure of knowing what hockey socks are – let me explain. You know those, striped, knit, probably polyester socks that hockey players wear over their pads and tuck into their skates? Those are hockey socks. For those of you who still don’t know what I am talking about, think acrylic leg warmers – really long, striped, oversize leg warmers.
So there I was, the proud owner of two pairs of hockey socks – that it seems I was being dared to wear. I certainly couldn’t wear them on my arms – I have put on some weight, but not that much weight. So, I was also facing a very awkward work wardrobe dilemma. How the heck was I going to pull off this look?

As luck would have it, our group decided to have a holiday bowling party, which we would be expected to attend straight from work. I found it very hard to believe this was simply a coincidence.

That’s right. I decided to wear the hockey socks (the purple, yellow and white striped pair) to the office bowling party. What does one wear with hockey socks (besides hip pads and skates)? A black mini-dress and textured tights of course. Oh, and arm warmers. Top it all off with bowling shoes and I must say, I was looking mighty fine.

And by mighty fine, I mean completely ridiculous.

But everyone at the bowling alley (at least in the immediate vicinity) worked with me and knew it was a joke. They pointed and laughed and took pictures and whenever I did well (mind you, I bowled a 59, so by well I mean knocked down any pins) they proclaimed that it had to be the socks.

We had so much fun bowling, a couple of us thought it might be fun to continue the party at a bar around the corner.

I took off my bowling shoes and wondered if I should also take off the hockey socks. Sure they were funny at a bowling alley, but they were funny because I looked ridiculous. Which, I guess would still be funny at the bar. But what if I ran into CK at the bar or along the way – he saw enough of me looking ridiculous in college.

So I took the hockey socks off. And while I didn’t run into CK (you know if I was wearing the socks I would have) I did run into someone I didn’t expect to see – Houdini.

There are a lot of embarrassing moments in break-ups. I looked down at my textured stockings and thank the lord this wasn’t one of them.

Of course, I was still wearing the arm warmers – but you know I was rocking those.